Having watched the latest “Mission Impossible” movie for the first time the other day, I figured it’s about time to let out the frustration I have with Hollywood and the way franchise movies have degenerated into the ridiculous.  Perhaps the blame for the decay falls on the audience (myself included) who, despite repeated reminders at the lack of creativity and ambitious writing, continue to spend money on watching these movies.  Whatever the root cause, I can’t do anything to change the course of the absurd, but I can certainly express my frustration with it.

Before going further, I should acknowledge that I have a personal fascination with movies and the directorial process in particular.  The blending of creative and visual aspects, storytelling, cinematography, performances, sound, score, and so on is a simply amazing thing, especially when done well.  Having watched the movie “The Firm” for the first time in years the other day, I was reminded how a couple really well orchestrated camera shots can communicate tension without anyone needing to say anything.  The point is that I’m fine with suspension of disbelief and enjoy movies… I’m just tired of that being extended to the point of “suspension of reality”.

In fairness, since franchises seem to be built around a central set of characters (and actor/actresses by extension), you can’t really do anything harmful to them and put the whole thing at risk, right?  Right?  They probably didn’t get that memo when writing Game of Thrones.  Ok, it’s not a movie, but I don’t think it matters.  They have killed off more main characters on that show than anything I’ve ever seen, often at a level that’s shocking as it occurs.  The good news is that, as a member of the audience, you start to expect a character isn’t going to make it, and the action becomes a lot more interesting and engaging as a result.  Certainly there has been a thru line and some characters have been around since the outset.  At the same time, there are plenty who have both been killed off or written in and become essential to the story along the way.  What a wonderful, refreshing, and courageous concept.

Is that impossible in a feature film?  Certainly not.  What happened to Drew Barrymore in the movie “Scream” again?  She was killed in about the first five minutes… a move that probably blew everyone who saw the movie away when it first occurred.  They killed off the biggest member of the cast at the start?  Wow… this is serious.  I love how they upped the ante and wish it was more common.  What about killing the dog in John Wick?  Incredible choice.  Yes, half the audience (at least) was shocked, but you immediately are in it with the protagonist and don’t need anything else to understand his motivation to exact revenge.

Compare these things to Mission Impossible, with about 25 minutes of the film dedicated to a 15 minute countdown at the end.  That should have been a sign right there… they couldn’t make enough ridiculous things happen in the actual amount of time they had, so they just created another universe where they could keep lumping things onto Tom Cruise’s character so any shred of brain function you had would be scraped away by the end of the movie.  The helicopter has to leave at a time he has to jump for it, he has to fall down the rope, be hanging on to the cargo net for dear life, have fights in the helicopter, avoid machine gun fire, a failing aircraft, a crash that would’ve killed 100% of anyone if it ever happened, roll to the edge of a cliff, get knocked off that cliff, get stopped, then continue the fall, to another cliff, where he has to have another fight with someone else who should have died for multiple reasons, to get the device that rolls to the edge of the cliff, to fall over that cliff, hang by a rope, shift to rock climbing, take care of the bad guy, climb the sheer cliff face bare handed… to disarm the bomb with… one. second. left.  Really movie?  What in the world is this?  It’s like they took every idea the writers had (and there were presumably 20 of them) and dumped them all in a hat, couldn’t decide which to use in terms of struggles for the main character, and went with including everything.  Did any of this create dramatic tension?  NO.  It didn’t.  What it did was make me increasingly agitated at the stupidity of the endless set of challenges and waste what could’ve been a great scene without half of the nonsense they piled on.  The camera work and action shots were wonderful.  Why was all that extra garbage needed?

Did someone decide once upon a time that no bomb can reasonably be defused with 3:17 on the clock?  Why?  Does it have to be 1 second, because honestly, I know (right along with the rest of the audience) that the world isn’t ending today.  Even if it is and the main character dies… it’s only a set up to them waking in a sweaty panic and it was all a nightmare… oh… thank… god.  I thought they might do something actually brave and shift focus to a character you didn’t expect.  That would be a good movie to watch.  Unfortunately I don’t expect it will show up anytime soon.

In fairness to Mission Impossible series, they didn’t start this trend.  Certainly you can easily trace it back to a lot of times James Bond should’ve just gotten shot but was, instead, strapped to a machine that would take a fairly long time to perform some level of elaborate “procedure” on him that would be more painful… but, from which, he would inevitably escape right before the laser, drill, saw, shark, etc. reached him.

In present times, the exact same thing continues to drain the interest out of movies in the Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Jurassic Park, and other franchises.  That hanger in the Last Jedi is going to blow up right as the main character is about to get… shot… slowly… after a deliberate monologue by one of the villains, who are never in a rush to just get it over with.  Go ahead and shoot Poe… move on.  Find another pilot.  Who decided we needed ONE Han Solo replacement?  Are the rest of the pilots in the rebellion useless?  Pity.  Certainly, when that hanger does explode with all the ex machina glory needed to save Finn and company, everyone else is incapacitated, but the protagonists… and I find myself again feeling like some part of my life was just drained away.  In the case of the Marvel movies, as much as I enjoy the series overall… can we please allow someone to remain disintegrated, especially one of the ordinary human characters?  Aren’t there a lot of comic book characters to choose from?  It seems like it.  How about making some of the action sequences actually seem dangerous?  The reason I love Infinity War more than any other Marvel movie, and Rogue One (from a Star Wars standpoint) is that protagonists don’t emerge unscathed.  There is consequence, and it makes for a better experience, otherwise you know how every scene is going to end, no matter how good the visual effects are.  The protagonists are going to get away.  The main villain isn’t going to be harmed, especially if it’s early in the movie… the protagonist will be stopped short of dispatching them for some reason, or their heretofore perfect aim will suddenly fail for a brief, but critical moment, only to return right when needed at the actual end of the movie… how convenient.

Ok, I’ve ranted enough, but I really wish Hollywood would develop some courage and take more risks, give us more to be engaged with, less of the same formula reused over and over, with a slight tweak here and there, and some actual cinematic danger for the protagonists.  If Game of Thrones has proven anything (along with a select set of other good movies), you can actually introduce new characters, make them interesting, and keep a story moving, despite throwing the audience some curve balls, and what a wonderful journey that creates in the process.

In the meantime, please wake me when the countdown reaches 2 seconds… I don’t really need to see the fifteen minutes of nonsense leading up to it… or, alternatively, perhaps they could just rename the franchise (in this case) to “Situation Impossible” and at least allow those of us who haven’t completely lost our minds to enjoy the tongue in cheek titling in relation to the movie’s content.

-CJG 12/01/2018