Every time I take a walk on the Beltline in downtown Atlanta, a thought comes to mind… I really don’t seem to fit in.  Am I the only person who notices this?  No idea, but certainly the ways in which I’m out of sync with my environment can readily come to mind…

• I don’t have any tattoos.  Not even one, which puts me WAY behind.
• I have neither a pony tail, nor an earring.
• I buzz my hair, so the possibility of a “man bun” seems pretty remote.
• I have a beard, but not the mountain man variety.
• I don’t own a single piece of clothing made of hemp.
• I’m not “420 friendly”.
• I’m not in good enough shape.
• Even if I was in good enough shape, I would never walk the beltline with a yoga mat in a sling like it’s a little baby…
• I’ve never gone to a yoga class.
• Prior point noted, I’m not sure I’m “relaxed” enough in general.
• I generally drive in one lane when on the road, not between them
• I haven’t gotten the knack of using “y’all” properly, and that sucks, because it’s pure southern gold.
• It’s been over 10 years since I’ve had a shot of whiskey… and I don’t know if I’ve ever had bourbon.
• I don’t own, nor have I ever fired a gun…
• That being said, I do spend the rest of my time in Chicago and I’ve never murdered anyone, so maybe we should just call that one even.
• When renting cars for my visits, I would be annoyed if I was given a pickup .
• I’ve never ridden a moped, I don’t own a skateboard, and I would probably topple over on a scooter.
• I don’t own a dog.  I do own two cats, but they aren’t here and, even if they were, they would never “go for a walk”, so there will be no street cred for that.
• I have eaten granola, but prefer cereal.
• I still can’t find basic things at Whole Foods.  Kroger is much more my speed.
• I don’t know what an “ethical grower” supported by Whole Foods means.  Apparently I’ve been buying tortured fruit for years, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel guilty.
• I buy white bread, understanding that I’m probably supposed to be getting wheat or multigrain.
• I don’t jog… I walk.
• Did I mention I don’t have any tattoos?  I did?  Ok, I still don’t have any.
• I’ve never been mudding, and I’m pretty sure I would do it wrong if I tried.
• And finally, since I grew up in Illinois, every minor hill feels like I’m climbing a mountain, and that’s probably a bit mental.

All these issues and yet it’s a wonderful and eclectic place to be… until they find me out and send me to yoga class on a scooter (or something else that’s very accepting and tolerant). 😊

-CJG 05/22/2019